Sunday, March 1

This past weekend has been quite the party...kleenex, chicken soup, popsicles, cough drops, and no brain all...and the party continues.

while in the midst of sick children this past couple of weeks i have been just plugging along; trying to keep people fed, keep up with course work at college, make sure school work at home is being done to the best of a sick child's ability (no math...too hard when you can't think) and tending to the ever present pile of laundry. I swear it mutates at night.

At college we talk about self care. To each person this has a different meaning. To me it mostly means some quiet time without taking care of children...that sounds horrible doesn't it, but this mama gets so overtaken with responsibility that pretty soon it feels as if I cant breathe and then what kind of a mama will I be?

I came across this anonymously penned quote today and instantly felt the tears come.


I so want to dance in the rain of whatever storm is in my life at any given moment...not in a rosy-colored glasses sort of way, but in a I can handle this and not get so focused on it that I don't notice the daily celebrations. So far I have been doing this in a survival mode since the divorce but I want to do it in a victorious sort of way now. For my children to see their mother overcoming not just managing...I feel it coming. For some who know me they say it's already here, if that's the case; Lord help me to see.

I think part of the answer is in community. I am working on it. It tends to be a slow process for me for different reasons...some of it is just the sheer lack of time to develop relationships. Even the friends that I have known for years hardly hear from me right now. My children need to know that their is community around them too...I am blessed to be in a good church and to have extended family that calls them.
Another reason that it is a slow process for me is that I tend to think I have nothing to offer anyone. Slowly I am learning from others that I do have something to offer...we all do. In the least we all can offer is a listening ear. For me I guess others like to see a mom not giving up her post of
Motherhood while the world charges her to go out and do many other things...that encourages them from my life. I haven't thought of it that way but am starting to and starting to celebrate my family and who we are too. Seeing past the brokenness of divorce into the strength of who we are now.



randi said...

I like this post! I also try to keep in mind that I need to loosen up and enjoy this life. My tendency is to be so serious all the time. Dancing in the rain is a good reminder to keep my chin up even when things are hard!

Friend, you do have a lot to offer. My hope is that you continue to encourage here on your blog and that you develop new, deeper relationships with your friends at church and wherever you meet people. God will use you and continue to grow you. (((HUGS)))

Heliotrope Tree House said...

Lori, Have you been reading my mind? Wow. We are really on the same page here. I only have one girl and I'm doing it alone...I work full-time as an English teacher with 150 students, planning, homework, etc...The responsibility seems to never end, either. Daddy is only barely in the picture anymore. Lately, I really feel just warn out-physically and emotionally exhausted...I wonder how am I going to continue like this?...Better question for me would be, "How am I going to learn how to dance in the rain?" You are fortunate to have a church and extended family for support. There is so much I could write to you. But I'll end with this. You have blessed my day with this post and I thank you for your honesty and your generosity. I admire what you accomplish with so many children. You are my hero and inspiration!!!!!
I wish we lived closer!!!